2022 for me has felt entirely off-piste; reactive rather than planned, and on a route I hadn't
thought to map out. I started the year feeling like when you're standing on one foot and you start to lose your balance, so your arms start flapping and suddenly your arms are integral to you staying upright, and you can't remember how you ever stood with your arms still.
But then I learnt that actually when you share with your people that you're losing your balance, hands start to reach out to help prop you up. And then I learnt to sit down, and realised that I didn't need to be stood on one leg in the first place. I then spent a lot of time figuring out how I can continue doing the things I want to do from a sitting down position.
This year I have carved out time for myself, prioritised the environments and situations that nourish me, and started therapy to begin a careful processing of the last few years. I rescued a dog from Belarus and Sarah's cat taught her to speak English. I rediscovered the joy of making, developed new skills, met other makers, and grew my art practice. I went to see lots of live comedy and I FINALLY GOT TO SEE HAMILTON. I realised that I love Wales and created as many opportunities as possible to cross over the border into green, hilly clarity. I sang and plucked at a ukelele in the grounds of Hogwarts, and hugged the whomping willow('s sister). My partner and I got engaged and I let my ADHD fixation plan a wedding in about a week. I've tried new experiences and let friends guide me into healing processes which allow my subconscious to wander and my consciousness to rest.
I also learnt about a Japanese concept called Ikigai, meaning your reason for living; a cross section of what you love, what you're good at, what the world needs and what you can be paid for. I think that new years resolutions create too much pressure, so instead I hope to continue to build on the sitting-down capacity I've begun to discover for myself this year, and within this new threshold begin to carve out my Ikigai.